CodeProject Latest postings for Buzzword Hall of Shame

Native look and feel

Sebastiaan Meijerink — Wed, 06 Mar 2013 22:02:00 GMT

The question what exactly defines "native look and feel" never gets awnsered

"Meaningful Use"

Mathlab — Wed, 16 Jan 2013 17:19:00 GMT

If you've done some project that involved "Meaningful use". Your project manager,"Bless their heart", is such a "great" person.

Best SharePoint Conference Buzzword (MMTI)

AspDotNetDev — Fri, 16 Nov 2012 07:09:00 GMT

4, actually, used in sequence: "Managed Metadata Taxonomy Infrastructure".

I still haven't figured out what that means.

Thou mewling ill-breeding pignut!

Dilbert

ryanb31 — Fri, 31 Aug 2012 18:25:00 GMT

http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/2012-08-28/[^] This takes the cake.

There are only 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.

"Intrapeneur"

Eddy Vluggen — Tue, 14 Aug 2012 13:41:00 GMT

Someone who starts a subsidiary; owner of a company within a company.

Bastard Programmer from Hell
if you can't read my code, try converting it here[^]

"Engaging"

Simon_Whitehead — Mon, 16 Jul 2012 03:39:00 GMT

"Engaging" is a buzzword for the Marketing people around me. "It needs to be engaging"... okay, so, explain what you mean by "engaging".

..their definition changes every time I ask them to define "engaging".. and believe me, they like to throw that word around a lot.

If you don't succeed, redefine success!

I have been waiting for this one a long time:

CDP1802 — Mon, 09 Jul 2012 11:17:00 GMT

It actually is not even a word, more a 'buzz syllable': App

'App' is very similar to the sound I make when punched with a fist, but obviously some marketing guys came to the conclusion that we all are only able to communicate with grunts and would not understand anything with more than one syllable. Anyway, I wonder how popular this 'word' is going to be when the gold rush finally is over.

At least artificial intelligence already is superior to natural stupidity

Exotropic Mind... does it mean your brain is "squint"?

orsobrown — Fri, 25 May 2012 14:16:00 GMT

Browsing around I've found this:
http://www.fabiomarchesi.com/files/premesse_metodo_exotropic_mind_10_dal_libro.pdf[^]

it's some kind of esoteric method (Italian language); using it, you could supposedly become happy.

But the funniest thing is: I googled up for "Exotropic" and I've found
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Exotropia[^]

So, if you use it you could become "exotropic"?

Now, isn't this buzzword worthy of this Hall of Shame?

Start Delivering Value Today

AspDotNetDev — Thu, 10 May 2012 23:01:00 GMT

Some people at my company are considering Liferay as a possible replacement for SharePoint and Umbraco. Wanting to learn more about it, I came across that page, and here are a few nuggets I found:

Quote:
Liferay Portal is an enterprise web platform for building business solutions that deliver immediate results and long-term value.

I know I like "long-term value" and "immediate results" when "building business solutions". Sounds like a useful "enterprise web platform".

Quote:
Start Delivering Value Today

Why, just the other day I was talking about delivering value. I can't wait!

Thou mewling ill-breeding pignut!

Brogrammer

jeron1 — Fri, 27 Apr 2012 15:37:00 GMT

Just saw this in the Lounge, it's the first time I've heard this and it's already making me shudder.

Buzzword Guru

AspDotNetDev — Thu, 22 Mar 2012 07:55:00 GMT

I believe "predictioneering" is a Golden Guru exclusive.

Thou mewling ill-breeding pignut!

When Looking For Work ..

Chris Meech — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 13:37:00 GMT

Not to belittle a guy's attempt to find work, but if having to promote yourself in the following manner is the new norm, then heaven help us.

"(I'm an) analytical thinker and creative problem solver who effectively collaborates with multifunctional high-performance teams.”

Chris Meech
I am Canadian. [heard in a local bar]

In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is. [Yogi Berra]

posting about Crystal Reports here is like discussing gay marriage on a catholic church’s website.[Nishant Sivakumar]

"we're bringing in a tiger team of hired guns to get this delivered to the customer"

Brian C Hart — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 22:04:00 GMT

A small business recently told me this as why they weren't hiring right now.

Sincerely Yours,
Brian Hart

"Can we action this..."

Danny Martin — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 10:35:00 GMT

WTF is 'Action'! What happened to 'Do'? Does management have nothing better to 'action' with their time than think up punchy alternatives to acceptable English?

Danny

The Most Hated Buzzword - 2011

Nagy Vilmos — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 11:12:00 GMT

Meeting Boy says[^]:
1. think outside the box (16%)
2. circle back (15%)
3. synergy (14%)
4. it is what it is (13%)
5. touch base (13%)

So let's get outside the tent and back peddle to get it on as that's just touching cloth.

[Have I got it right?]

Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done.
Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H
OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre
I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer
Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett

Important Changes!

Quirkafleeg — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 08:50:00 GMT

I read this in a Quarterly Update email sent out by a particular telephony company. I think it adequately states what I'm rarely thinking:

"We are aligning around a single 'Technology Partner' designation that is more indicative of our co-marketing relationship..."

Pay Raise Question

ryanb31 — Tue, 30 Aug 2011 18:31:00 GMT

At my previous employment my boss had promised a raise and after the time came and still no raise I emailed and asked about it. A small portion of his response was "we are making minimal adjustments among managers to create additional parity." That was his way of saying, yes, your pay raise will be on the next pay check.

He was so good at using so many words and never actually saying anything.

House!!!

Ᵽompey — Fri, 15 Jul 2011 16:13:00 GMT

SCRUM master / release manager

wizardzz — Tue, 03 May 2011 19:57:00 GMT

Just saw a former employer post an ad for this position. Sounds like a dream job if you like sitting there all day and twiddling your thumbs! No coding involved! Scrum meetings lasted 5 minutes per day when I was there, and we never needed a dedicated "master."

Craigslist Troll: litaly@comcast.net

"I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours. "
— Hunter S. Thompson

cloud computing

fwsmaster — Fri, 29 Apr 2011 16:09:00 GMT

buzzword by marketing guru's to trick simpletons new on the web into buying far too expensive services (cloud: originating from the fact that the internet used to be represented in slides and presentations as a little cloud) - e.g. check amazons AWS site at http://aws.amazon.com/[^] and read and weep at the incomprehensible mambojambo to get sites up and running at ridiculous prices

nevertheless if you're not into the cloud you must be....

Fryslan Webservices

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